TTC: Commentary 17

“Time & Tied” PART 48
1. Original Date Of Completion: AUGUST 24, 2015
2. What I Was Doing: Trying to make this serial a thing
3. Changes of note:
-Some rephrasing of Elizabeth’s explanation
-Added last sentence about time machine use, to lead into 49

“Time & Tied: Power Play” (PART 48.5)
1. Original Date Of Completion: JUNE 20, 2016
2. What I Was Doing: Guest post at “Legion of Nothing”
3. Changes of note:
-No time for any; probably should have set the scene better

“Time & Tied” PARTS 49 & 50
1. Original Date Of Completion: JULY 7, 2002
2. What I Was Doing: Summer before Teachers’ College
3. Changes of note:
-HUGE change to timeframe: See below
-More backstory at the start, for first time readers
-Changed end, which originally went briefly to Glen’s POV

THE EARLIER REWRITES

For those who don’t know, I initially started this story in 2000. It’s undergone a lot of edits since then, some larger than others. Here’s the section for non-spoiler stuff.

When I first wrote this part of the story (“Season Two”), it followed right on the heels of Books 1 and 2 (“Season One”). Both in terms of when it was written (July 2002), and in terms of the plot – it began with Semester Two, in February of 2002. Except not 2002? Any year? Basically, my future story now being a few months the past, I stopped putting the date in the header for all Season Two episodes.

A much bigger change, however, is that for the above parts, we’ve jumped to Carrie’s senior year (Grade 12). In September. There are a LOT of reasons for my making that extra seven months time change, among them:
-Finding coins for powering the device in February strained credulity
-Julie’s situation wrapping up within a couple months strained credulity
-Carrie’s birthday in March turned out to be somewhat inconvenient
-Building towards an ending involving high school graduation made more sense

That major temporal revision was edited into place in 2014 (after the majority of 2012 and 2013 was spent reviving Season One of this story). Now, doing so didn’t directly impact on Episode 23 (now Parts 49-50), largely because classes would be resuming either way. A byproduct though, is how it opened up a number of prior months where other events could have taken place.

THE NEW EPISODES

Part 48 and 48.5 are very recent. August of 2015 is when I was publishing the climax of “Book 1” onto this site. And wow, was I NOT getting any readers. I’d spent the first part of that summer playing around with “Book 5” – but what was the point in number FIVE if no one was reading number ONE?? I also felt like I needed a stronger entry into Book 2 and Book 3. For Book 2, that became a retooling of the old Pilot Episode. For Book 3, I wrote Part 48.

In the original 2002 version, Carrie had revealed the truth to Chartreuse “over the Christmas break”. In the rewrite, she had talked to Chartreuse “over the summer”. Now, I had a chance to show that decision, rather than tell. Yet I also needed to showcase the time machine. The final piece to click in place for Part 48 was something I continually kick myself over about Part 1… it’s all Carrie, no other main characters. Worse, her actions aren’t enough of a draw.

Hence, we now have a better written part which is all Carrie (and Elizabeth, and Buffy), to set up the situation both with her own powers, and with Chartreuse. I even managed to write it with roughly the same number of words as a regular half episode. I am kind of impressed with myself when I do stuff like that. I hoped that part would finally be something of a draw, which is why I labelled it “3.01” rather than “Part 48”. Based on non-response, I fear it’s not?

“Power Play” (Part 48.5), the guest post at “Legion of Nothing” came about last month. Jim Z was headed camping with his family at the end of June 2016, and he offered to showcase some stories from other authors on his site. Once it occurred to me that I could build on the Chartreuse connection, I plotted, wrote, and sent that episode off to him within a span of 24 hours. I hope it holds up. I think it does?

Jim’s audience broke through the ceiling of 100 views in a single day (from 20 visitors), which had seemed impossible prior to June 27th. Things quickly calmed back down starting off July, then started to seesaw a bit; I may do a stats post later.

One final non-spoilery remark! Parts 49-50 I wrote in MS Word, rather than WordPerfect 5.1 – but I hated Word for flow. There was also the fact that every time I said “cafe”, it would correct the “e” to have an accent – which back in text format became caf?. So I stopped using Word. See this prior commentary for more on my use of WP 5.1

SPOILER SECTION

XoversCSpoilers for Books 1 & 2 may now creep in, as some elements are unavoidable.

I feel like everything was tied up well to end Book 2 (Part 47) and at least one reader agreed. Of course, that whole “future war” WAS a dangling thread, hence it’s the focus going forwards – as indicated in the new Part 48. The multiple arrows on the chapter image (see the index page) have been reversed to come from the future, rather than from the past.

We have as a returning cast everyone who knows about the time machine. Laurie, Lee and Tim will eventually feature back in, but for the sake of any first time viewers, I didn’t want to throw too much out there at once. Azure got thrown into the mix too, partly as a lead in to Chartreuse talking about her family soon.

Along with them, we have a new character, Glen Oaks. Obviously, he has to be tied into the time travel somehow, but you’re going to have to wait a bit to see that. Back in 2002, I probably should have done more with that thread sooner, but it is what it is. I’ve removed a few excess (pointless at this stage) hints, like at the end of the initial Part 50, and welcome any speculations you might offer.

In terms of Carrie’s temporal powers, the new “Power Play” part (48.5) has her slip through time, possibly speed up her own time, and then in Part 50 we also had her ability to “see” future events in a different way from Chartreuse. She’s surprised me a bit in her scope, but her worry over letting herself go is keeping things from escalating. Which is good since I tend to go for more of a slow burn. Once the pieces are in place, plot will escalate.

2016CoinsSome final remarks: This week, I got my first 2016 coins, the quarter on Friday and the loonie yesterday. It claims to be a “lucky loonie”? I guess we’ll see – does it net me any new readers? Also, the English teacher name of “Mrs. Haye” is unchanged from 2002, and came from Sharron Lahaye. She hired me for my first teaching assignment back in 2001. Like principal “Dell Hunt” though, it’s meant in name only, don’t read into the character.

Parts 49/50 were originally called “New Arrival”, so added “Carrie On” as the follow up entry title. It was meant to play with her powers being “on”, as well as whether she can carry on.

Coming This Friday: More Chartreuse, in some of the most comedic writing I’ve ever done.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s